Coaching Tip: An Excuse or a Reason?

Coaching Tips: An Excuse or a Reason

I have, at certain points during my career, been accused of making excuses. The terms "excuse" and "reason" are often used interchangeably, but they have VERY distinct meanings and connotations. Understanding the difference between them is crucial for effective communication, accountability, and leadership, especially for the CEO and the wider board.

Excuse

An excuse is an attempt to lessen blame or avoid responsibility/accountability by providing an explanation that may not be entirely truthful or valid. It often implies a defensive or justifying attitude. Excuses are typically used to defend oneself from criticism or blame. They often imply avoiding responsibility rather than addressing the issue, which can be seen as weak, insufficient, or insincere explanations. They can be used to avoid consequences or to shift blame.

Real-Life Example:

"I exercise every day and don’t know why I am overweight." This is an excuse as other factors like food, drink, and hormones play a part in our weight along with exercise. You cannot exercise off a bad diet. Could self-reflection, external support, and motivation have helped?

Reason

A reason is a genuine, logical, and often factual explanation for why something happened. It implies a cause-and-effect relationship and usually carries a sense of validity and truthfulness. Reasons are typically based on facts and logical explanations. Providing a reason often includes acknowledging the situation and taking responsibility. Reasons are generally seen as legitimate and acceptable explanations. They provide a clear understanding of circumstances without attempting to deflect blame.

Real-Life Example:

"I didn’t achieve the plan because of external influences; in this current competitive situation, it is hard to compete as we do not have the funds to defend our position against the competitor." This is a valid reason that explains the situation without trying to deflect responsibility. It’s based on facts, and evidence can be provided.

The Key Differences:

1. Intent:

• Excuses often aim to deflect blame or avoid responsibility.

• Reasons seek to explain the situation truthfully and factually.

1. Perception:

• Excuses can be perceived as weak, insincere, or lacking validity.

• Reasons are generally perceived as credible, logical, and acceptable.

1. Accountability:

• Excuses tend to avoid taking full responsibility.

• Reasons often include acceptance of responsibility.

1. Outcome:

• Excuses may lead to scepticism and reduced trust.

• Reasons can foster understanding and empathy.
  

Examples in Context:

• Excuse: "I was late to the meeting because I overslept." This sounds like an excuse as it suggests a lack of responsibility in managing time.

• Reason: "I was late to the meeting because there was an accident on the highway that caused a significant delay." This is a reason as it provides a factual explanation for the delay.

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Through coaching, I help individuals explore the underlying causes of their excuses. For example, one might have difficulty meeting deadlines due to a lack of effective delegation or time management skills. By addressing these underlying issues, individuals can learn to provide reasons rather than excuses. This shift not only improves credibility but also enhances performance and trust within their teams.

Understanding the distinction between an excuse and a reason helps in maintaining credibility, fostering trust, and improving communication. Recognising when you're providing an excuse versus a reason can also lead to greater personal accountability and professional integrity.